Second Chance...

There is a God and as far as we can tel, he is mercifl, kind and beneficient. Also, he is gracious and willin (quite willin) to grant a couple of prayers from his humble servants and children. If ther b one prayer i earnestly implore d Lord grant me, it's d chance of another lifetym..a reincarnation of sorts.
It hurts to reason sometimes of all the joys that have been denied me by being born in this life time. It is not dat i regret being born now, nay! I do not! I do believe that there is a purpose which i serve to fulfil in the world i was born into. I understand that and i appreciate it. But it doesn't hurt to pray does it?
I pray i have the opportunity to watch the dinosaurs as they go about feeding and Evolution as it takes place or Adam with his naked wife reclining beneath the trees at Eden. I wonder sometimes if i would stop them from eatin the Cursed Fruit. I do not know. Perhaps i shall be more interested in determining the sort of fruit. I wonder if it shall be apple or pear or almond? *shrug*
Oh, but a chance to be there at the Birth of Jesus or even Mohammed. The greatest prophets the world has ever known. I shall seek Jesus' view as to Mohammed's birth or the Great prophet's view as to the death of the Messiah. I wonder...
To ride down the hills with the Roman Army as we conquer land and people, to crawl up mountains and cold steppes with Attila and his merry band of murderous Huns. What a thrill it would be. And to capture the world with the Greatest warrior there ever was, Alexander. Indeed i would hand him the very sword he would use to sever the mighty Gordian knot.
To stroll the sands of Alexandria with Plato and Socrates and all the other philosophers. We would sit beneath the pyramids together and say wise words in Greek and Latin and smile foolishly and nod our heads. ''Cogito ergo sum..''*grin*
The wars will come and go, WWI, WWII and so on, still i'l remain. Moving through the years experiencing all i can gathering knowledge. For i would be wise, as i have studied with Solomon and as he said i should ''..pursue understanding..'' In time, going through the ages, learning the timeless art of craftiness from Odesseus himself at the scene of the Trojan war. I shall gather military wisdom which shall be proficient in following every step of the Napoleonic wars.
I would be with Tsar Alexander as Napoleon invades from Prussia and with Napoleon as he strolls into Moscow. To understand the true secrets of what happened when Archduke Ferdinand was murdered and to experience the actual effects of a nuclear holocaust at Hiroshima.
There will be the good experiences too. To sail aboard the Titanic on her ill-fated voyage and watch lovers dance and smile and fall in love myself. To ride a Rolls Royce silver edition on the first day it rolls out of the workshop and to run in the American Olympics. To fall in love with Diana Ross and with Marilyn Munroe and with Mata Hari. To dance with the queen at a cocktail and to jockey race in the Cheltenham Races.
To play football at international level and to score golf against Tiger Woods. Oh, but for the experience of sailing with Christopher Columbus and shouting, ''It's land!'' as we hit upon the shores of America. To journey with Lewis and Clark as we map the States and fall in love with Sacagawea. To make love beneath the stars and in a spaceship. To invent rock music and dance to thrill and madness.
To taste crystal meth and keep long hair and jive like a true hippie. To meet the greatest writers and poets of all time, Shakespeare, Dickens, Tolstoy, Doestoyevsky, Ludlum, Wilde, Yeats, Chaucer and so on. To smile into portraits and have myself drawn and painted and sculpted by da Vinci, Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatelli, Bernini and so forth.
To live in the deep forests of the African tropics. To watch Nigeria as she evolved from a geographical area to a bound entity. To trade with the Eastern Igbos and the erudite Northerners, all this while my protection being assured with a bodyguard of loyal Yorubas commisioned to me by the Oba of the Binis.
Watching as the country was born and took shape and almost died. I would have the opportunity to see the ancient art of the people of Nigeria before everything is carted away across the ocean to the Western world. To touch what before i would have merely read, to feel and to understand a time and clime before my own fathers.
There will be time, i pray, to fly a jet and race the fastest cars of the highest cliffs and into the coldest waters. To sail the Artic seas and to laze on the warmest beaches. To invent flat screen television and satellite Tv and digital surround home-theatre systems. To ride a satellite to the moon and circumvent the world. To land on the moon and almost touch the stars.
I want to experience all this and much, much more. All these i ask through Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.

Summaries of a drugged mind...

Do u ever fully comprehend d feelin of fallin in luv? Dyu eva undastnd it? What exactly is it? Wat compels u to do those stupid things whch u'll condemn and laff @ every oda day of d week? Wat indeed is it? I'v pondered dis qiestions till my head reachd burstin point and nw, a new one has arisen.
Is it possible to make urslf fall in luv with sm1?
Ask urslf a bit, wat exactly is d fallin in luv thingy? Isnt it just a feelin? Cant feelins be induced? Pple can make demslvs feel sad, angry, happy or horny. All dat matas is d ryt induction. So isnt it possible to induce luv?
U tel a grl today dat u luv her, and probably u dont, but it is as possible as bakin cake, to make urslf actuali fall in luv with her. The major question nw wld b hw u'ld fil afta falin fr her. Wld u stil harbor d same feelins whch induced u to try @ d onset or wld u hv outgrown dem?

I am not a Romantic

The time has come as it usually does when i have to abide by the wishes of those close to heart and do what they want. This however does not mean i am not doing what i want. The important thing i think, is that i am doing what i am doing for people. For those close to my heart.
I have often kidded myself for a while that above all and sundry, i am a romantic at heart. This is an earnest lie! And everyone who has ever pled that sort of character is guilty of the same lie. There is no such thing as Romanticism. The ideal is as dead as a fish on land (or in the waters of the Niger Delta).
Right from the very conception, it has been a lie and the people who professed it and the people who claimed to live it are liars to the very core and Hell shall claim their bones. The very thought that a man would buy flowers for a girl, not because of some ulterior motive, but simply because it is in his nature to do so is absurd and foolish and false.
Men have always sought out ways to get the girls and they have always succeded...eventually. They did not simply do those stuff because they felt like, but they did because they had to. If they had not acted 'romantic' they would probably never had gotten those girls..even if they were rich!(Ok, not actually..)
This is where the quandry is. I have been ordered by friends of mine to confess as to my 'romanticism' and i have decided to do so. I am not a romentic.
I buy flowers for girls and i write little notes for them. I do the chocolate thing and guess what thwy are saying. I stay with them all night(yup!) and i listen to their talk. I pick 'em up after class and pay the cab fare. I send the little texts and call just to hear her voice. I send the little gifts and remember their favorite stuff. I lie the sweet lies and watch the movies i hate with them. I say you're beautiful, i love you, i can't live without you. I fight for them and dive in front of the bullets and moving trains. I catch the grenades but i don't pull pianoes(i don't play..lol). I act loving and kind, byt i am no romantic.
I do those things simply to make them like me. If u call that romantic, then good for you. Me, i call it style. So therefore, i have confessed. I have done the job. Enough.

I Hate Being Alone..

Alone for me is not a matter of being the only person occupying an area. It actually entails being idle with nothing else to do. I can literally feel alone in the middle of a crowd. Most of the time i resort to thinking or writing. The thing is, i am a highly emotional person and the things i write sometimes, are not good for a man to dwell on. Not to talk of think about.
When i am alone, the Devil seeks to take control over my sensibilities and thus my good intentions are put to nought and the darker evil side of me, which i fight and struggle to subject everyday, is brought to the fore.
I am a man, i can not change that. I am prey to changes in emotion and countenance, i can not change that also. It is because of these things that the Devil may claim hold over me. But there is always a silver lining.
When i write i escape the norm. I reach above the stars and truly become a god. I create worlds and escape into my fantasies. I become Creator, Destroyer, Fate and Chance. I am Owner and Giver. I am god. Sometimes though, the result is not always rosy.
Sometimes, the words take control of me and my senses reel and take me on a plunge into the very darkness of hell itself. I balance at the precipice of sanity and stare down the ever yawning crevasse from which i would never clamber out. Sometimes, i reach the very depths of the pit and feel the long, icy fingers of Evil grasping for my soul. I taste the waters of death, but again and again, i have survived.
I hate being alone.
The cat has nine lives, i have one. But again and again, i have survived by the breadth of a hair. Will it happen again, or will i topple the next time into the fiery hell of madness and continous insanity from which i shall never rise?
I hate being alone...