Learning from Obee..

Disappointments rarely, if ever, present themselves as stepping stones, on the contrary, they come across as large blocks of ice which hem us in, cutting us off from our hopes and dreams, driving us deeper and deeper into ourselves, until after a while we're a simple shell of what we once were.
In truth though, disappointments are not a terrible thing, if anything, you could describe them as a necessary part of one's existence. But like death, or sickness, we all strive to avoid disappointments. And like death or sickness, it catches up with us every time. And as with every thing in life, there are stages, so also with disappointment.
First, you have the ........... This stage differs among various people. For some, you have crying, for some you have silence and quiet, but whichever it is, it doesn't last very long, and it is a prelude for what comes next.
Then you have the Outrage, when you just want to lash out, hit back at a target: yourself, the messenger of such bad news, a loved one, etc. This stage is often quite violent, especially if your ....... stage was filled with crying, in which case we'll probably have a tantrum on our hands.
Then, after that, you go into another stage, which involves withdrawal. I'll call this the Brooding stage. A lot of thinking is involved at this stage. You go back every detail, you re-examine the sequence of events, you try in every way you can to figure out what could have gone wrong, and once again, you lay blame. And then, u make the Decision.
This is the fourth phase of facing disappointments. Most of the time, the decision made at this point holds no substance, as it is rash and sooner or later, you forget all about it. But for that moment, that thought is supreme and inviolate in ur sub-concious. And most of the time, it's the wrong call.
It is immediately after this point that you go into a form of Denial. In your mind, you've re-examined the sequence of events, and you have discovered the obvious: it was meant to be. There is no way your plan would have worked anyway. Whether it was a business investment, a job application or a relationship, you weren't smart enough, you weren't good enough and he/she just didn't love you enough.
Disappointments are like funny infectious diseases. When you catch one, it runs its course but how it's handled determines whether it's going to leave behind scars, a (worse and debilitating) opportunistic illness (ignore the lingo, I am a microbiologist after all) or an immunity to further disappointments of that kind. The Denial phase determines which line your disappointment is going to toe.
And now, you Determine. This is the final stage of handling your disappointment. In a true illness, we'll call this convalescence (yes, I did go to school). What you determine is a consequence of what effect Denial had on you. And that effect like I did say, would go a long way in determining the sort of person you turn out to be. But, unlike the other phases, this one actually relies on outside influence. The presence or absence of people, friends or family joining you to cope with this goes a long way in determining the final outcome. If they encourage you, sometimes, you're pushed to surpass what limits were there before and pulsating heatedly within that block of ice in which you were trapped by the disappointment, you reach out, arms stretched and grab that which you sought, and with the faith of your friend lending wings to your feet, you fly above all impossibility and achieve even more than what you originally set out for.
But then again, things could go differently...
Just saying.